The First Note

It started four years ago today.

There were no expectations. There were no grand visions of going viral or making it on The Kelly Clarkson Show.

What I was thinking that morning was nothing more than doing something small yet necessary for my daughter. Her fourth school in five years was my doing. It was my fault that there was no stability in my kids’ lives, and I blamed myself for the current state of affairs.

I honestly thought no one would pay attention or care what I wrote to Addison. I’ve never been one to care about how my social media followers I had. I also viewed my social media channels as my digital diary that happened to be shared for anyone in the world to read.

The reception to these notes have been overwhelmingly positive (while I do occasional mean tweets or messages), but what makes me smile the most is when I hear from other parents who’ve been in the same boat as me. For the longest time, it felt like no one else could understand what I was living or how I was struggling mentally.

In interviews we’ve done in 2021, Addison has said these notes have strengthened our relationship (which is true), but they’ve also helped me grow as a man, a husband, and a father as I learned to forgive myself after losing my job in 2016.

Four years later, the purpose has never wavered. It’s always been about having a daily connection with my Addison, and now with Jackson as he’s now a fourth grader - the same grade as Addison when this journey started.

Even with all the attention, it’s still something for me and Addison to share…and now something I’m starting with Jackson. Ultimately, our kids don’t care how much money we make or the jobs we have; they simply want us there with them and be part of our lives.

The underlying message from that first note on August 14, 2017, still resonates in what I try to instill in my kids daily…whether or not my note is a bad dad joke.