Mental Health Matters

I’ve long been an outspoken advocate for mental health and for men to openly share their mental health struggles.

I was diagnosed with depression at 16 after spending a year on Accutane to clear up my horrible acne. I’d like to blame my depression and hair loss on Accutane, but I think I was predisposed to mental health issues.

I was a shy kid growing up. I was quiet. An introvert. I don’t think people in my family knew how to handle an introverted kid. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me.

As I grew older, depressive episodes would become more frequent. My career choice did not help my mental health struggles. In actuality, my job probably exacerbated my issues more.

One of the best places I worked at in my career was Baylor University. The four years we spent in Waco are some greatest in my life. However, when I worked at Baylor, I endured workplace bullying that wasn’t encouraged by my boss but it wasn’t stopped either. Two coworkers would continuously pester and pick on me. Maybe because I was an easy target. People would tell me it was because they were jealous of me, but I will never understand if and why people would be jealous of me. I don’t think that possibility exists.

While at Baylor, I noticed my mind and my demeanor changing. I wasn’t liking who I was becoming. I was spiraling. When I began sharing my mental health issues on social media, I was told to keep them to myself because "no one wanted to hear about them." I remember being told that my telling people I was depressed was my way of seeking attention.

In 2011, just months after the birth of my son, I had a mental breakdown. The weight of my job, the office politics, and being the dad of two became too much for me. That year, I saw a therapist for the first time. Since then, I’ve seen a therapist off and on for 10 years.

Two years after leaving Baylor, I had my first anxiety attack. It was hours before I was to receive the 2014 CoSIDA Rising Star Award and I was having a panic attack because I knew those Baylor coworkers would be there, and I had overheard the things they were telling other people in the days leading up to the award ceremony. That treatment scarred me. I was ashamed.

Since leaving Baylor, I’ve made it a point to be more vocal for mental health awareness and advocacy. Every year, I raise money for NAMI to support mental health services in our state. I know there are thousands of people who do more for mental health than me, but we all play a role in destigmatizing mental illness.

Now, even during this pandemic, I feel as though my mental health is the best it’s been because I’m finally in a place where I feel like I matter.

I'm not ashamed of what I've battled and what I've overcome. #WorldMentalHealthDay may only be one day a year, but we must prioritize our mental health every day.