Human Being, Not Human Doing
This month, Ashleigh and I started something all couples should do together - a book club! I’m not sure if two people can be technically labeled as a “club” per se, yet she and I are in the final days of our first book. Oprah, eat your heart out!
Of course, Ashleigh suggested that I make the first book selection. No pressure, right? After fretting for a day or so, I settled on the book that lay unopened on my nightstand, Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday. I have long been a fan of Ryan’s writings since I read Ego is the Enemy after I lost my job in 2016. It was after reading that book when I realized that while I thought I never possessed an ego, we, in fact, all have an ego. Unfortunately, I let mine take over me which resulted in my demise.
For the last few weeks, as I listen to the audiobook version, Ryan’s words are a reminder that too many of us are chasing tasks, accolades, and dreams rather than living. Myself included. Since leaving the 80-hour work weeks and breakneck sleepless nights of working in college athletics, I’ve learned to slow down. Instead of going 90 in a 60 MPH zone, I’m now going about 70 in a 60…but I have cruise control set. That’s good, right?
When I was in the arena, I was blind to what the spectators saw from the stands. Now that I am a spectator, I now understand that for the longest time, I was never a human being. I was a human doing. I continue to struggle with not constantly DOING because I am sometimes ashamed to admit I want to be the one who gets the attention to validate something I’ve created or something I’ve worked hard to build.
My inability to sit still finally hit me the other night when I was walking through both of my local Barnes & Noble bookstores.
I’ve said from the beginning that I know I will never be a bestselling author, but that if my book helps one parent then I am a bestselling author. I said that in an interview on WWL-TV back in 2018. I do believe that (deep down), but when I walk through the aisles of fresh books, I can’t help but feel jealous for the writers and the books who get the most eyeballs in the front of the store. I’m not even on the local authors’ end cap. Granted, my local store sold out of my books (some 50 copies or so) which is GREAT! But, my mind selfishly goes back to NOW WHAT? WHY CAN’T I GET MORE FACETIME? MORE EYEBALLS? WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO?
I’ve become restless because I thought this would have been easier than it has become. It’s been so incredibly hard. However, I’ve come to learn that the average U.S. nonfiction book is selling fewer than 250 copies per year and less than 3,000 over its lifetime. Self-published authors - on average - only 250 copies of their book in a lifetime. I’ve been able to sell 600 copies since September 2018. I should be ecstatic and focused on being a human being and not so focused on doing, doing, doing.
Doing will do nothing but make us crazier.
Being will do everything to make us calmer.
