20 Years in the Making

There are certain dates in our lives when we remember exact specifics of where we were, what we were doing, what we were wearing. For me, there are five specific dates I will remember forever:

Thursday, June 9, 2011 (birth of my son Jackson)

Thursday, July 3, 2008 (birth of my daughter Addison)

Friday, June 15, 2007 (the day I married my wife, Ashleigh)

Thursday, December 9, 2004 (the day of the blind date with Ashleigh)

Thursday, April 11, 2002

The significance of April 11 is monumental as it set the next 20 years in motion.

That Thursday, that normal, nothing-should-happen Thursday, was the day my mom nearly succumbs to a near-fatal brain aneurysm.

At this time, I was just a 19-year-old punk sophomore at the University of Southern Mississippi in Hattiesburg. I thought I knew everything. I thought I was invincible. I was dating my off-again, on-again, off-again, now on-again then-girlfriend, a USM student. As a student at USM, I always loved Thursdays because I would check my mailbox, and there would be an envelope from my mom - telling me to have a good week and a fresh $20 bill.

CHA-CHING!

As a poor college student, that $20 was a gold mine to me. That night, Brandie and I had planned to go to the late showing of a new movie, National Lampoon’s Van Wilder. This could be the moment where I gained my man-crush for Canada’s greatest export, Ryan Reynolds.

It’s after 11:30 p.m., and in my head, everything is fine. Tomorrow is Friday, and then the weekend is here.

Then, everything changed.

****

As we were pulling into the parking lot of my dorm, I saw a familiar man banging on the front doors of Osceola McCarty Hall. It was my parents’ friend, Mark, who appeared frantic. I seriously thought it was all a dream. For months after, I thought I took the wrong pill in the Matrix. Alas, it was an all too real moment in time.

He told me: “Your parents want you to come home. They sent me to come to get you. Everything is FINE.” It was the emphasis on the word ‘FINE’ that hit differently on my ears. After a few more minutes of Mark trying to convince me that he was sent to fetch me from school, I mindlessly ran upstairs to my room to hastily pack a bag and grab my book bag.

It’s now past 12:30 a.m. on Friday. Interstate 59 is pitch black, barely a passing car in sight.

My emotional threshold undulated for the 2 hour and 30-minute car ride from Hattiesburg, Mississippi, to my parents’ house in Houma, Louisiana. From my student job in athletics to my girlfriend, Mark and I talked about everything I wanted to do after college to what he thought about my parents.

When we pulled up in the driveway at almost 3 a.m., he grabbed my shoulder and told me: “Everything’s going to be OK.” But, I knew that wasn’t the case when I walked in the door, and saw my dad, my sister, and my godfather sitting at the dining room table. No mom.

I dropped my bags.

And then they told me.

I was numb. The air went silent.

They drove me to the hospital, where I was met by several of my aunts and uncles in the waiting room.

It wouldn’t be until after sunrise when I was told the severity of what happened.

****

She suffered a massive brain aneurysm, and - amazingly - she drove from New Iberia to Houma earlier that day. She doesn’t remember doing it, but I’m amazed that she did it.

Her neurosurgeon told us it would be a 10% chance that she would survive. The next week would be touch-and-go, but as you can tell by the photo up top, she survived. And I am grateful she’s still here because I can’t imagine what turn my life would have taken.

****

After spending two weeks at home, I returned to Hattiesburg, made up my tests, took my final exams, and ultimately said goodbye to my first set of good friends I had ever made.

What happened to my mom ultimately set a chain of events that would change my life….

I decided to transfer close to home to the University of Louisiana in Lafayette. That move led to me ultimately meeting my wife, Ashleigh. That would have never happened had I stayed in Hattiesburg.

I walked into the UL SID office with no idea of what I was doing, and I was allowed to be a student assistant SID. That move led to a decade-long career that took me to West Virginia, Texas, Florida, and Georgia.

It all ultimately changed my outlook on life.

She was able to see me marry the love of my life. She was there for the birth of Addison. She was there to see me graduate - not once, not twice, but three times. She’s been able to see her grandchildren grow into intelligent, strong-willed, caring humans.

There were still numerous things I had to endure and suffer through in the coming two decades, but it shaped me into who I am today.

In all honesty, it’s probably one of the largest reasons why I started writing my #DadLunchNotes to Addison four years ago. I can’t fathom my kids losing Ashleigh or me at a young age. And while I was 19 when my mom almost died, I’m not confident that I would have found my way here.

In the end, all it takes is one moment - no matter how big or small - that can change the trajectory of your life. Don’t fight it.